When Mummy & Daddy Disagree

A child is his parents’ source of joy – and at times, the reason for friction between his daddy and mummy.

When I was little, my parents had a vastly different stance towards discipline issues. Dad was the disciplinarian while Mum was the lenient one. Whenever Dad was about to give my a cane for being mischeif, Mum would be there for protection and comfort. On those occasions, Dad would chide Mum for being soft on me. Mum, who didn’t believe in physical punishments, would snap him back for being too much of a dragon with me.

Does the above scenario sound familiar?

An inconsistency in parenting style, while normal, can be confusing to a child/ He will become unsure as to which parent he should listen to. He might even take advantage of the situation to play off his parents against each other. In addition, when he learns that one parent is less strict than the other, he would be more likely to misbehave when the laid back parent is looking after him alone.

It’s best for parents to put on a united front, so neither of the two is deemed the good cop or bad one. When parents work together as a team, their child will get the message that his parents back each other up in decidion and he will learn that certain behavious will results in either approval or disapproval from both parents. This would prevent him from taking advantage of the more lenient parent.

Parents often feel that each has the better method of parenting style, but keep in mind that there is more than one right way to raise a child, and there are pros and cons to every single of parenting.

Take time to discuss the best way to deal with conflicting parenting views, and work together towards a compromise that both of you are comfortable with. Listen to each other’s opinions, and be open to leaning from each other’s insights.

Whatever parenting disagreements your spouse and you might have, they should be discussed behind closed doors. Avoid accusing, blaming or making nasty comments about each other in front of the child. Children feel hurt when they hear their parents said unpleasant things about each other, and they often feel as if they are being forced to choose between the two parents.

All said, you should accept the fact that there might be some issues that parents might never see eye-to-eye on. Indeed, it’s impossible to be agreeable on every single thing as no two individuals are exactly alike. So pick up your battle – identify and tackle issues which you feel are most important to you, and don’t be nitpicky about less important ones.

Remember that parenting is not about competing with one another to see who can do the best for the children, but what you can do together to raise them in a best way possible.

Adapted from The yellowpost, Issue 67

Read this just now, found it rather interesting. I agreed with the writer of this article. Parenting is not an easy task. Communication and unity between parents are essential to make parenting works. Raising a child is not easy, what is more when you have two or more, or if you are a single parent. I mean I can see the hardship my mum went through after my dad passed away. I was really stubborn and rebellious back then. And my bro is a mischievous one, even till now. Training your kids with good parenting style from the right beginning would really make a difference.

Ok, sounds as if I’m a pro person in this topic. I’m not but just managed to give out some observations I had. Plus, I like reading and knowing lifestyle articles and stuff. So, am rather interested in all these kinda reading materials.

P/S: Was really really bored after all the hardship on assignments and readings the past one week, and getting less sleep. So just spent some time to do some leisure reading, before continuing my remaining last part of PM assignment, which due this Friday. Sigh….

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