Morphing Stories

I know what I want…

I want to go home, with my family.

[09:06 pm]

Haha sounds like the drama play called ‘The Funny Thing Called Love”, right? God is unique..

Honestly, this sem, great changes in me. Slowly, I’m learning to forgive all that had happened upon me. Best friend who had turned behind my back, someone who is spending less time to know and understand me, classmates who had different and worldly mindset from me. Who am I to judge all of them? But of course, I’m still human; there will still be some ups n downs but will try my best to overcome them.

This sem, I just wanna be happily, jolly with CF :) Don’t know why,I find me peace in cell group. I think I’m gonna miss big part of CF when I graduate. I hadn’t been really enjoying since Yr2 Sem3, ever since thesis came into the picture. I grudged, complaint about my workloads, but now, I find peace there. I forget and leave everything at that moment when I go to cell. Honestly, I wasn’t in a right state of mind and spiritually since thesis came. But, God’s unfailing love is still there, holding me and protecting me.

I’m glad this sem, I’m slowly finding back the passion I once had in Yr 1, when I first entered CF. No doubt, workloads and studies upon graduation is heavy, therefore I might not be able to take up heavy responsibilities but I want to help in small, little stuff and enjoy and doing them willingly without grudges and sighing. Just like how I started out earlier, as I’m willing to take the first step to ask Simon (praise & worship coordinator then) to let me serve and started helping in lil stuff. That’s the most purest willingness I did for God with a big smile in me.

*SMILES*

[02:42 am]

It’s hard when you realize that some people don’t want you to succeed. However, many saying it doesn’t make it so! The safest place in the world to be is in the will of GOD. If you align your plan with His purpose, ultimately you’ll win. And there’s nothing they can do to stop you!

The question you must answer today is, have you heard clearly from GOD? Are you doing what he told you? Or are you trying to convince Him that He should bless what you are trying to accomplish? What you really need to do is spend time in prayer asking GOD to reveal His purpose. When you do what GOD has commanded, you’ll be blessed because GOD’s plan is already blessed. All of us go through times of frustration. We struggle with ideas that are born of our own will instead of GOD’s. But we soon learn that GOD won’t be manipulated. If He said it, that settles it! No amount of praying will cause Him to change His mind. He knows what’s best for you.

Have you tried the “peace test?” The will of GOD is seldom easy, and never cheap, but it will always bring one thing – peace. Paul said, “And let the peace of GOD rule in your hearts … and be thankful” (Colossians 3:15). Get into His presence and talk it over with Him.

When you experience His peace, you’ll know you’re on the right track.

Though many trials I’m going through all these while, I guess God still knows what is best for me.

[12:20 am]

I need to lose weight. I’m terribly fat with all those “spare tyres” with me. I’ve been eating, eating, and eating. Can’t stop from food temptation.

I need more of these:

FRUITS!!!

[12:58 pm]

1. A hand-made card?
2. A nice fruity cake? – Mango Delight or White Choco Macadamia?
3. A nice meal? – Tony Romas? Sakae Sushi? Paddington House of Pancakes? ANYTHING!! :)
4. A thoughtful gift?

Honestly, I don’t know. Haha…Don’t see the “21” big thing coming also. But I do wish friends remember to wish me though :)

[01:56 am]

Don’t know why when everytime you have that big urge to stop, it’ll come back looking for you.

Then, disappoints you again.

Can’t they think before saying anything?

I hate people who break promises…except for certain circumstances. But best not. It’ll destroy my trust upon them.

[05:56 pm]

It is fading.

Communications are no longer in between us.

Gaps are growing although just in a short time.

Some things should not happened at the first place.

But there is no turning back.

[12:57 am]

I’m broke…*sobs*

Gotta eat maggi mee and cook the whole week!

[12:15 am]

I find it a bit stupid for the past 2 posts, but honestly speaking after writing the post yesterday and praying it to God, I felt much better. We are still able to talk some today on the way to class. I just hope we can still be that way till we graduate.

On a brighter side, I’ve realised there are some happiness feelings within me lately though I don’t know why especially after the prayer last night. It is as if God has given the peace in me and not be angry/upset/disappoint, but in fact, in knowing that I might have faults too and I learnt to forgive :)

Or I think food helps too. I think YC read my blog about sushi and for two days, she suggested Japanese food LOL! Now I don’t want Jap food for a while since I had them for two days in a row and I’m so broke LOL…

I spent a lot on food. Like yesterday for example, was trying to do my data analysis for thesis and the Nvivo s/w took up all my spaces in C drive and not enough space left to finish up the remaining downloading, spent 4 hours waiting and sigh… ended up still fail! Hence, got fed up and Weiqi suggested to MidValley. It was around 3 already at that time. I’ve never went out to MV that late before because I don’t like coming back at night alone.

We went to ‘Little Penang Cafe’ for some nice Penang food and called YC to check whether she will be still around there. Later then we met up, and had dinner at Sushi King. Imagine, my lunch at 4pm and dinner at 8pm. And my meal set was really a lot and I was extremely full :) Bought another pair of nice blue flowery earrings.

Things are getting beautiful when God took over. Alright, gotta continue with my Business Ethics assignment.

[11:28 pm]

It would not be such disappointment if she stayed silent today, or perhaps be a more professional actress at other times. I’ve been bearing for “trying-not-to-see” or ignore her incomparable acts since I came back this sem.

Yet, another heartbroken day. Oh well, she won’t know it. Is it still worth to tear for such a friend when you have to probably fake a smile to her de too because you couldn’t show you’re pissed off or sad upon her? Really miss those good times we had last time.

Was having a lil regret thought about this friendship but after second thought, well no point. So no regrets of what I’ve poured upon her. May God continue to protect her in His ways as I might not be able to do so anymore.

Okay so happy pics today with YC and Su-Yan when they purposely came on to the bike and looked for me at Jusco.

[10:43 pm]