Morphing Stories

The film is is set in New York City’s Central Park and Upper East Side. Director Yann Samuell states “It’s a fable about destiny, in the end.” whilst Jesse Bradford who plays the lead protagonist surmised the movie as “a romantic comedy about how they pull each other to a more healthy place by virtue of their relationship.”

This film is remake from a Japanese film. Honestly, I wasn’t into watching any as I was reading some journals for thesis. However, focus span was short. I’m still fighting with two voices within me.

Was watching almost till the end, where I skipped, skipped (I mean fast-forwarding it) and THE END! Went upstairs to continue with journals. Still after a while, focus wasn’t there. Don’t know why I opened back the movie and started where the point I start skipping it.

And you know what, I felt it was telling me something too. This main actress, Jordan, she was trying to run from her past. Her fiance died and she couldn’t take it. Mine was different, we broke out. However, she couldn’t get out of her past or her fears somewhat, especially she knew that she fell in love with this main actor, Charlie.

The part which struck me the most:

They put a letter for one another and buried under a tree, which a year later they would meet and read it together. Charlie came exactly a year later, but the she didn’t show up on that day itself.  She came the following day and found an old man sat at the tree, and talked with him. He seemed to have read the letters…haha nosy ol’ man. Anyway, he asked her, “So are you healed?” She said, “Yes!” He then said, “Good, now read his letter and call him up.” She said she would read the letter but not call him. The ol’ man asked why. She said because if they were meant to be together, she would have been healed by yesterday (the actual day she and Charlie actually made a promise to meet).

“What kind of nonsense is that? Yesterday was one day ago. Your healing was off by ONE day?!“

“It is ONE very important day. Destiny has spoken, and to search for him is like trying to shape and mold destiny and that just can’t be a good idea.“

This is the line I liked form the ol’ man, “Just suppose, the shaping and molding of destiny, is in fact your destiny.“

The ending, Charlie said,

Destiny – when really want to accomplish something, it can’t do it alone. You still have to go to the restaurant, you still have to show up, you still have to build the bridge…to the one you love.

[03:18 pm]

It’s new year eve, 31st December 2008! It is also Riana’s birthday today. Wish her all the greatest things that are awaiting for her in life to accomplish!

Woke up with a smile. Ok, not really a smile. At least, my anger had gone down.

Things that I’ve learned through this whole year weren’t that nice. I can only say that it is a totally EMOTIONAL YEAR! Oh well, it is still alright. Knowing that these things happened for reasons and get myself to understand more about life.

God has been good. I can say, I was slightly away from him being busy with thesis at the beginning of the year until last short semester, whereby I realised I was eventually more happy doing stuff for Him. Thesis and studies took over my passion over Him. Thankfully, last semester, I try to tell myself to keep up my faith in Him. I tried to be in every CG meetings I can compared to the semester before that, I almost throw every meeting to Joseph and Pearlyn to take over.

Last semester to go before graduation. Lots of unclear roads ahead of me. But with God, I’m definitely gonna have a better year or a not-so-good one but will give me a better lesson to learn? Of course, I hope for the better year one to come with.

[03:16 pm]

Janice: Positive thinking, positive thinking.

Janice 2: There are stuff that might happen. You just gotta see from the good and bad sides too. But, obviously the negative ones took over.

Janice: What about God? All the things that He had done so far, isn’t that enough for you to trust Him?

Janice 2: It is hard sometimes.

Janice: Remember…trust in God always, not on man. Humans may fail you, but God never will.

Janice 2: Alright, alright. I guess you are right. Perhaps, I should even voice out my thoughs to him? But, I’m still afraid. What if those thoughts or questions will freak him out unnecessarily?

Janice: TRUST IN GOD!!! If he is the one, GOD will find a way.

Arrggghhh…..I’m having two voices in one head. What does it mean for this invitation? Or is it just a normal one, but I’ve think too far. Or does it mean he is willing to accept the whole as in who LOKE CHING MUN is.

TRUST IN GOD is what I have to do.

*Was kinda dreading to call UM again. It is fed up enough when you kept sending e-mails that couldn’t reach them or calls which are unreachable or doesn’t help much. If others e-mailed and got it through, whereby we tried so many times and it doesn’t, I really GAVE UP!…Oh well, since I have to do what I have. Anyway, honestly, I’m not gonna call again if no one picks up my call AGAIN! If other conference’s e-mail can work well, what the heck is wrong with UM’s one.*

[02:54 pm]

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report…think on these things.

~Philippians 4:8~

As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.

~Proverbs 23:7~

God says “Make yourselves nests of pleasant thoughts.” God always want good things upon us. None of His will harm, but to prosper us. Hence, aligned with what I had  2 days ago, I know things are well-controlled in His hands. There might be challenges or downs in life, but just to remember to count His blessings and learn what He had put forth for us. Thank You Lord for never, ever give up on me!

I will work on my thesis to get whatever I deserve based on what I put in. So I’m gonna stir my engine and do what a student should but the right way. No more about greed or wanting the fame to get into anything else. THESIS here I come again! :)

My God is a mighty God! Amen!

[12:14 am]

yes, the year of 2008 is ocming to an end so soon. Gosh, I just remembered like how I used to blog specially each end of the year and new year about things happened in that particular year and what I’m looking forward in. I’m going to do that in a few days to come.

Anyway, I got REAAAAAL bored of transcribing and took a random look at my old blog at Xanga. Oh my….I never realised how much I thanked God for every single thing He did and gave me especially my first job and stuff, just counting His blessings upon me.

I really got more and more emo as uni years go by. I need to stop that and be in that state of mind I have that time. Yes, I do have some moody days but I get over it as quick as I can because I laid everything to Jesus. I need that “many” passion back.

[01:30 am]

INGREDIENTS - Serves 4-6 pax

Marinade:

1 tbsp water

1 tbsp soysauce

2 tbsp cornstarch

Dish:

1lb (455 g) chicken breast

9 dried chilli peppers

1/2 cup of cashew nuts

1 tbsp grated ginger

Sauce:

1/2 tbsp vinegar

1 tbsp of sesame oil

1 tbsp rice wine

1 tbsp soy sauce

1 tbsp sugar

1/2 tbsp cornstrach

Instructions:

1. Cube and marinate the chicken. Mix the ingredients (marinate) and put the chicken aside.
2. Make sauce for the stir fry (ingredients for the sauce).
3. Deep fry. Heat up the oil and fry the cashew first until golden brown. Next, fry the chicken until golden brown.
4. Stir fry. Heat the wok and add in 1 tbsp of oil. Add in the dried chilli until turned dark and black. Add some grated ginger. When the chilli have turned black, add the remaining ingredients. Add sauce and mix.

[07:57 pm]

Honestly, this morning I woke up refresh, despite of the crying last night. I think I’m coping with my emotions pretty well this semester. Slowly, I’m getting better at controlling my emo feelings and so on.

And looking back at the devotion I had last night, I strongly believe God has everything in plan. I mean I’ve tried, or we (my group), which we kept calling and sending e-mails of our abstract. Of all people, ours couldn’t reach their e-mail whereby many others are able to (those who got accepted in that particular conference we are aiming for). Ain’t so sure, anyhow, oh bother…

If any “un-nice” treatment from lady boss just because we are the only group couldn’t get it, well, it’s ok. I guess I was just afraid of how people look at me. I don’t want to fail in front of my superior’s eyesight. However, I think I’ve gained much in other areas. I should give thanks on those things instead. :)

[06:30 pm]

Behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest.

~Genesis 28:15~

Be quiet, soul:

Why shouldst thou care and sadness borrow,

Why sit in nameless fear and sorrow,

The livelong day?

God will mark out thy path tomorrow

In His best way.

The best is wherever He puts us, and any other would be undesirable, all the worse because it would please our fancy, and would be of our own choice. Do not think about distant events. This uneasiness about the future is unwholesome for you. We must leave to God all that depends on Him, and think only of being faithful in all that He has given you, He knows well how to replace it, either through other means or by Himself.

~Francois Fenelon~

I was in tears in the bathroom. I don’t know why, tears just came when those memories of how much I push myself with sleepless nights to come out with framework, to please Ms Angelina and hoping to be the best group under her since year 2 semester 3, right even before Weiqi and Riana joined the gang. Now, I felt so useless and not motivated anymore.

I went to a devotional time with God, and weirdly, today’s topic spoke right into me.

When Weiqi said she wants to do voluntary work, it touches my heart. I’ve wanted to do charity where I hope I’m from a rich family where I can give, but due to some reasons, I told myself that I will do it in near future. When they talked about how some choir group that had done so greatly, I miss it. It was once my life. I gave up classes just to go for practices during secondary school, despite my mum once gave me a-so-called unencouragement, “Choir? You can sing?” But I pursued even it was hard, even I had to walk for almost 20 minutes to a bus stop to get home after practice in the afternoon in my upper secondary time. I eventually took cabs most of the time, to school when I was in form 2 due to transportation problem.

But how could I go into a music school where the fees are tremendously high. With God providing me an education right now which is something good enough for me to be thankful.What is more when I’m one more semester to graduation.

This semester I sorta enjoy a lot compared to many semesters back. Probably I wanted to have a nicer semester since I would be graduating soon. I don’t want to miss out the boat of having fun and joy in life, especially this moment because honestly, how many chances would I ever get to come back to this time? Also I want to get away my “very emo” feelings within me by occupying myself with happy stuff. I don’t want to be so emo like many sems back. I guess, me is me. I can’t change that. God brought me back to the alertness of some of the tests I took which I posted in my previous blog. I am who I am. I give everything I have in relationships. Even I get hurt in the end. And most of the time. My heart tends to rule me. I can’t make decisions without considering feelings.

God, I pray, whatever road is coming, it is tough. I’m really relying on You upon my graduation path and so forth. Everything in life. Please never let my hand go.

[02:02 am]

Just got to know another two groups’ abstract got accepted, hence they are going for conference. Left with my group who isn’t going anywhere. I really don’t know. Well, thank God the news came to me after Christmas? Else I’ll have an unhappy one.

It’s dreadful when you are the leader, and you felt like a failure. Though I strongly know that God always has its plan.

I was just thanking God that night when Weiqi smsed me that she accepted Christ during the alter call. It was like the best gift of Christmas after all. I’ve been keeping her and Yen Chin in prayer that one day they will experience God true enough and come to Him. I failed once with my best friend and she eventually grew further away from me now. Therefore, I never tried any approaching, but knowing by praying and God will know the best. Of course, we need to do our part too, but I always believe not a pushy way.

Anyway, I thank God somehow that my previous thesis group broke off. There is just a way of how things come around. However, when come to think of it also, I make my desires overwhelmed me. The desire to be great, and learn great stuff, well, I do, but it doesn’t end up the way I wanted it.

I see things which I shouldn’t see. How people can change just like that, but yet looking how their passion brings them through. I hope God will guide my passion through the right time and using the right way.

I’m feeling emo at the moment.

[01:24 am]

Ah well, probably it is just me that I couldn’t mix it. Anyway, weirdly is…erm…ah…don’t bother.

[09:16 pm]