Having the perfect and right figure?

Having expensive clothes and accessories?

Possessing branded/expensive make-ups? To cover our “ugliness” (acnes, pore holes etc)?

Or having bigger breasts?

Our society is obssessed with being beautiful! But is there more to beauty than what meets the eye?

I was going through this session with Ps Jadeline about 3 weeks ago. I came back to Sg Long in the afternoon, wanting to start on my assignment, then this paper came in my hand. I read it all over again and I’d like to share it here, in summary.

No doubt, nowadays we live in a society that places a high degree of importance on physical appearance. TV, movies, mags all display attractive people. There is HARDLY having a big fat ugly women/men up in billboards you see on the road etc. Agree?

They promise them freedom, but they themselves are not free. They are slaves of things that will be destroyed. For people are slaves of anything that controls them.

~2 Peter 2:19~

With the society which is so obsessed with physical beauty, many women are caught up in this obsession as well. But should really be that important for a woman? Is beauty something that a Christian woman should strive for? What makes a woman truly beautiful?

I know some stuff like wearing low V-cut shirt that shows off your cleavage is not-so-right, because indirectly you are not protecting the body God has given to you. At the same time, we are making men to sin. I remembered this joke whereby Mr Ong (Adv Tax lecturer) told us about how his wife commenting him being conservative when he commented on the clothes she was wearing. Then he said something in a teasing way that she would make men sin (you know, by luring men’s lust etc). And she changed. LOL!

Anyway, back to the point. A woman can and should be beautiful. God designed us to be that way, that our skin, hair and features to be soft and appealing, and our body was fashioned to be attractive and beautiful to men. However, the physical side of the beauty is just a small part of what makes a woman truly GREATLY beautiful.

So here are some of the outer beauty factors which what makes a woman beautiful:

  1. Health – We have attractive glow when we are healthy. A balanced, nutritious diet and exercise will help a woman to have this healthy glow.
  2. Looking feminine – We can achieve this through our dressing and hairstyle. An attractive woman should dress modestly, despite of the society’s teaching on how to display sexy clad figure in order to be attractive. Besides being attractive for being dressed modestly, we will gain honor and respect from those who see her. Because a woman’s body is designed to be attractive and arousing to men, hence when we dressed too revealing of ourselves, we will stir the wrong kind of feelings and attract the wrong kind of attention.

The above are the outer beauty factor which a lady/woman should look into. For the inner beauty, we should be:

  1. Kind - We should be gracious. In Proverbs 11:16 tells us that a gracious woman retains honor. They usually are ladies who are kind, gentle, thoughtful, unselfish etc both in speech as well as in action. They are the women that people will look up and remember. In Proverbs 31:26, a virtous woman will have the law of kindness on her tongue.

    2. “Women are astonished when we tell them what many professional men look for in a woman on the first date – besides chemistry. Men like women who are nice. Men are suckers for kindness and consideration. We love women who are affable, flexible, easygoing. Most men cannot resist a sweet women. Of course, men always desire to touch women, as we don’t have what they have. However, we really give respect to those that save for their lifetime partner. At our younger age, 16-22, where responsibility to build home and take care of wife as whole life was not totally in our mind, we really could not tell between lust and love. We don’t mind to have girlfriend(s) to pamper and caress, and we can give many promising words for her/them, intentionally or unintentionally, but actually we are uncertain of our responsibilities and even obscure about our future to the girl’s husband.”

    ~by Bradley Gerstman, Christopher Pizzo and Rich Seldes in What Men Want~

    Was stunned when I heard of this this few lines. Let me move on.

  2. Good judgment – In Proverbs 11:22, a lovely woman who lacks discretion is compared to a ring of gold in a pig’s snout. Although a woman is physically attractive, but lacks discretion, it takes away her beauty and value. Good judgment are such as moral issues, money matters, choices, decisions, dealing with others, work etc. A woman who possesses good judgment is of great value because she can be trusted to do the right thing.
  3. Sexual purity – This stands out most in the Bible as one of the most important qualities in measuring Christian maturity and purity. You can further read this passage in 1 Corinthians 6:9-20.

We, ladies (I’m still a lady) or women should continue to grow and better our inner self. Proverbs 31 describes a woman who is competent and capable of doing many things. We are the one who is able to contribute to others through these abilities, and be use to our family, Church, community etc. However, God doesn’t look into just the outside and inside beauty of us. It is more important to please God with our quality beauty as our outer one will fade and inner will end, but the beauty that God sees in us is more important when we stand before Him.

Do not let your adornment be merely ourward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

~1 Peter 3:3-4~

  • God values a quiet spirit in a woman. Does this mean we should never speak-as in always be quiet? No, this mean that a woman should not have an argumentative, contentious spirit. She should not be someone who is quick to argue and demand her way. She should make peace with others, not envy/jealous against and not competitive with other women, and respectful to her husband.

It is better to live in a corner on a roof, than inside the house with a quarreling wife.

~Proverbs 21:9~

It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quarreling and complaining wife.

~Proverbs 21:19~

Seriously, I agree on this. I’ve been in a relationship and I was pretty a quick-tempered person back then. And my ex doesn’t really like it. I’ve changed a lot. Not only at that, I was too back at home. Still is sometimes, but lesser :)

  • God values a woman who is submissive, which is not a popular word in the society today. People think the word “submissive” as being weak. But, God has commanded women who are married to submit themselves to their husband’s authority. This does not mean that a woman should never have an opinion/say in the family. A wise husband would consult his wife on all important issues. Ephesians 5:22-32 says a woman who submits herself to her husband is a woman who understands and is yielding to the government that God has established in the home. It is not a sign of weakness, but strength. A sign for us, women to in fact submitting to God and obeying the commands He establish. It is also a sign of our faith to God.
  • God also values a woman who fears Him. As in putting God first in life and striving to do what He commanded and should continue to deepen her relationship with Him, also continue to grow spiritually.

Charm can fool you, and beauty can trick you, but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, she should be praised in public for what she has done.

~Proverbs 31:30~

In conclusion, if a woman possesses only the physical aspect of beauty without inner and godly qualities, she is hollow and empty shell. She should be beautiful on the outside, inside and most importantly, she should be beautiful to God.

[05:29 pm]

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