Parenting


By LAURAN NEERGAARD, AP Medical Writer

WASHINGTON – The best time to learn a foreign language between birth and age 7. Missed that window?

New research is showing just how children’s brains can become bilingual so easily, findings that scientists hope eventually could help the rest of us learn a new language a bit easier.

“We think the magic that kids apply to this learning situation, some of the principles, can be imported into learning programs for adults,” says Dr. Patricia Kuhl of the University of Washington, who is part of an international team now trying to turn those lessons into more teachable technology.

Each language uses a unique set of sounds. Scientists now know babies are born with the ability to distinguish all of them, but that ability starts weakening even before they start talking, by the first birthday.

Kuhl offers an example: Japanese doesn’t distinguish between the “L” and “R” sounds of English — “rake” and “lake” would sound the same. Her team proved that a 7-month-old in Tokyo and a 7-month-old in Seattle respond equally well to those different sounds. But by 11 months, the Japanese infant had lost a lot of that ability.

Time out — how do you test a baby? By tracking eye gaze. Make a fun toy appear on one side or the other whenever there’s a particular sound. The baby quickly learns to look on that side whenever he or she hears a brand-new but similar sound. Noninvasive brain scans document how the brain is processing and imprinting language.

Mastering your dominant language gets in the way of learning a second, less familiar one, Kuhl’s research suggests. The brain tunes out sounds that don’t fit.

“You’re building a brain architecture that’s a perfect fit for Japanese or English or French,” whatever is native, Kuhl explains — or, if you’re a lucky baby, a brain with two sets of neural circuits dedicated to two languages.

It’s remarkable that babies being raised bilingual — by simply speaking to them in two languages — can learn both in the time it takes most babies to learn one. On average, monolingual and bilingual babies start talking around age 1 and can say about 50 words by 18 months.

Italian researchers wondered why there wasn’t a delay, and reported this month in the journal Science that being bilingual seems to make the brain more flexible.

The researchers tested 44 12-month-olds to see how they recognized three-syllable patterns — nonsense words, just to test sound learning. Sure enough, gaze-tracking showed the bilingual babies learned two kinds of patterns at the same time — like lo-ba-lo or lo-lo-ba — while the one-language babies learned only one, concluded Agnes Melinda Kovacs of Italy’s International School for Advanced Studies.

While new language learning is easiest by age 7, the ability markedly declines after puberty.

“We’re seeing the brain as more plastic and ready to create new circuits before than after puberty,” Kuhl says. As an adult, “it’s a totally different process. You won’t learn it in the same way. You won’t become (as good as) a native speaker.”

Yet a soon-to-be-released survey from the Center for Applied Linguistics, a nonprofit organization that researches language issues, shows U.S. elementary schools cut back on foreign language instruction over the last decade. About a quarter of public elementary schools were teaching foreign languages in 1997, but just 15 percent last year, say preliminary results posted on the center’s Web site.

What might help people who missed their childhood window? Baby brains need personal interaction to soak in a new language — TV or CDs alone don’t work. So researchers are improving the technology that adults tend to use for language learning, to make it more social and possibly tap brain circuitry that tots would use.

Recall that Japanese “L” and “R” difficulty? Kuhl and scientists at Tokyo Denki University and the University of Minnesota helped develop a computer language program that pictures people speaking in “motherese,” the slow exaggeration of sounds that parents use with babies.

Japanese college students who’d had little exposure to spoken English underwent 12 sessions listening to exaggerated “Ls” and “Rs” while watching the computerized instructor’s face pronounce English words. Brain scans — a hair dryer-looking device called MEG, for magnetoencephalography — that measure millisecond-by-millisecond activity showed the students could better distinguish between those alien English sounds. And they pronounced them better, too, the team reported in the journal NeuroImage.

“It’s our very first, preliminary crude attempt but the gains were phenomenal,” says Kuhl.

But she’d rather see parents follow biology and expose youngsters early. If you speak a second language, speak it at home. Or find a play group or caregiver where your child can hear another language regularly.

“You’ll be surprised,” Kuhl says. “They do seem to pick it up like sponges.”

Found this on Yahoo! Very interesting article indeed. (:

1. Don’t burden them.

With knowledge comes responsibility. Children don’t have life knowledge, so don’t burden them with life’s responsibilities. They don’t need to know about the state of your marriage, your job, or your finances — unless they can make a contribution and help resolve the situation. But most kids can’t. They’re just kids. Don’t tell them money’s tight; that makes them carry responsibility for family debt. Don’t tell you are having marriage problems, because they can’t help you solve them.

Many single parents really struggle to maintain this kind of discretion in communication with their child. They are at home with their child, with no adult companions. Naturally, they want someone to turn to and discuss life’s issues, battles, and victories. The closest person at hand is their child.

But short-term gain can bring long-term pain. When you’re tempted to enjoy the gratification of sharing your life’s troubles with your child that’s the time to delay gratification. Find an adult friend.

Some people disagree with me on this. They say I’m trying to shelter children from life’s realities. They’re right. I am. It’s great to expose your children to life-changing, life-enhancing experiences. However, there’s a big difference between that and burdening them with life’s battles and conflicts.

2. Don’t break a promise.

Consistency is the “golden rule” of child discipline. Don’t change the rules on them. Consistency brings security and boundaries to their world. When they know the rules, they feel the freedom, safety, and protection to move at will within those boundaries.

A child doesn’t know the differences between a broken promises and a lie.

A child will start collecting their bucket and spade as soon as you promise to take them to the beach. If you forget, if you decide you can’t be bothered, if you just change your mind, or if you allow a work commitment to constantly interrupt your dedicated time, then you devalue your word and teach your child you cannot be trusted.

There is a difference between that and unforeseen circumstances, and a habit of broken promises will convince your children that lying is a natural part of life.

Renegotiating your arrangement is not the same as breaking a promise. I’ve had to renegotiate many times. This isn’t bad – it teaches flexibility and helps us model grace to each other: But if I commit to taking my daughter to breakfast and suddenly a meeting comes up, I don’t break my promise. I reschedule our date. And I keep it.

Let your “yes” be “yes” and your “no” be “no.” You don’t have to cater to your child’s every whim. If you don’t want to do something, simply don’t agree to it. But if you do agree to it, make sure you demonstrate that you’re a man of your word.

3. Don’t put up with it.

As a parent you may be struggling to find a replacement for the inadequate models that shaped your own life. So you look around at friends and peers to see how they do things, to see what their advice is. However, just because something may be acceptable behavior in one family doesn’t make it right for yours. Raise your children to be adults you will be proud of rather than embarrassments.

As mentioned previously if you tolerate rude, spiteful behavior in a child at 3, you’ll have to put up with it at 13. If you tolerate a tantrum-throwing child, you’ll inherit a whining, tantrum-throwing teenager: Do you think it’s acceptable for a 40 year old to throw himself to the floor in anger because they don’t like their birthday cake? If it’s not acceptable for a 40 year old, don’t accept it from your 4 year old. It’s a lot easier to stop inappropriate behavior early on…and you’ll be saving your child from a very embarrassing scene at their 40th birthday party!

With kids, you get what you go for:

We never had the “terrible twos,” because we decided we wouldn’t put up with it. At the first sign of it, we made it clear we wouldn’t tolerate it. You get what you go for, particularly if you go for it promptly and early on.

The idea for this strategy came from a great friend Bobbie Houston. Bobbie told us she simply made the decision that her children would not experience the “terrible twos.” She said, “Why should two years old be the most terrible time? That’s supposed to be the most fun time of their life.” As a result, her children didn’t go through that stage. When people talked to Bobbie about how rebellious children can be, particularly teenagers, Bobbie simply refused to believe that paradigm. So they never experienced the rebellious teenage years. They didn’t believe it, they didn’t go looking for it, they didn’t have it, and they didn’t tolerate it.

from Dr John King, Author of Helping Guys Become Men, Husbands, and Fathers

Was just having this thought about stages in life we had to go through.

I’m imagining myself for the coming few years:

  1. Walking out of university.
  2. Getting a secure job and earn a living.
  3. Getting a car probably after working a year or two.
  4. To be in a relationship.
  5. Getting married and have a family together.
  6. Seeing kids growing up.
  7. Seeing myself climbing up the corporate ladder, OR probably,
  8. Stop working and be a housewife and mother to my kids.

Ok, the list can goes on forever till the last thing, death. However, I guess writing out these simple outlines is good enough for the time moment.

I was reading Karen Cheng’s blog and it is really interesting. She is expecting her 3rd child at the moment. I just loved reading her blog. The way she writes about her days as a mother, about her kids and her daily living and not to forget a nice, loving husband. It makes me go “Ooowwhh, that is really sweet.” and hoping to have such a wonderful life and family for myself.

Here let me share some stuff I found it kinda interesting.

Her eldest son was upset one day, asking “Do people eat rabbits?”. She replied, yes and justified like how people eat chicken and fish. He was saddened with the answer and said, “Mum. I don’t want to eat rabbits. Please don’t cook rabbits for dinner ok?” The mum actually asked where did he heard about people eating rabbits from.

ANSWER:

fridge01

Few days later, he said to his mum – “Mum, people eat teddy bears.”

They argued as the mother disagree and see what the kid has to say from the picture below.

fridge02

Karen’s eldest son, who was overwhelmed with his 4th birthday pressie – superhero toys. She went to her toy library and borrowed a LARGEST and PINKEST DOLL HOUSE she could find, which led her kid to some creative scenarios.

kitchen_superhero

Apparently Spiderman wanted spaghetti for dinner, but he got angry, because you know, the turtle was slow. (I laughed when I read this…gosh…I wish my kids would be as much as creative and bringing such joy to my future home.)

She received some nice card from her kid.

mumday06_03

Callum’s Mummy

What is Mummy’s name and age? Her name is Karen and I think she’s 55.

What does Mummy look like? She has long, black hair, brown eyes and she’s shorter than Daddy.

What clothes does she like to wear? Jeans and Tee-shirts and slipper shoes.

What do you like to see her wear? A pink dress and hair ties.

What is Mummy’s favourite thing to eat? Salads with cheese mixed in it.

What T.V programme does she like to watch? Shows about painting pictures.

What does she like to do for fun? She goes shopping for clothes.

Does Mummy go out to work? No. She has to look after Sean and me.

What jobs does Mummy do at home? She goes to buy food, she cooks, hangs out the washing and she sews broken clothes.

What do you like doing with Mummy? Playing with lego sets and craft. I like to help her cook.

Why do you love Mummy? Because she cuddles me and she’s pretty.

Awwhh…isn’t that sweeeeet! I think it is. Please don’t get me wrong that I sounds like want to be getting married now. Well, not at least for the current 5 years from now. But, it is so lovely to see such a nice, happy, cosy and warm family. I guess I need to pray harder haha…(as if God is like Santa to read my prayer list.) LOL!

[01:57 am]

I found this interesting article in The Sun newspaper yesterday in their “Good Vibes” column.

This writer says that mobile phones for three-year-olds are being launched in Asia and giving his critics suspecting the tiny recipients will have a great time playing with the wrapping paper and the box, and then flush the contents down the toilet. LOL!

I never knew there’s such thing out in the market. Anyway, acoording the writer, the makers of MO1 toddler-phone say they are safe because communication can only work between the child and up to 200 best friends, whose numbers are input into the phone before it is handed to the kid.

I agreed with the writer of what’s the point of this? He gave an example of a pair of three-year-olds having a phone conversation. (And it is pretty funny :) )

“Hello. This is Ming Ming and I’m doing a great big poo.”

“Oh. Hello, Ming Ming. I like Power Rangers. i’m three and a half. I think I’ll do a poo too. Grunt! There. Done it.”

“Oh. Are you in the toilet?”

“No. I’m sitting on my Daddy’s lap. Where are you?”

“I’m in the bath.”

Haha…

Other than that, he mentioned that it is depressing to see idiot parent giving his/her child an age-inappropriate item, all the child’s classmates will demand the same thing. (I’m so agreed on this! Peer pressure.)

He gave another example of a conversation of his youngest child.

“Daddy, can I have a Mazda R-X8 convertible sports car, limited edition?”

“Of course not. You’re just a kid.”

“Not fair. JENNY’S DAD BOUGHT HER ONE. You’re so MEAN. I HATE YOU.”

To cut it short, he is concerned about how the world now, with the technology and immoral movies which are unsuitable for children could harm them.

For a tip, he found a “good parenting” technique to get over this problem through a tried-and-testing. It’s called Bribery and Corruption.

“Daddy, will you take my to see The Dark Night? Jenny’s dad took her.”

“I’d love to, sweetheart, but it’s only on for one more night and we’re too busy. You see, we have to go to the car showroom and pick up your Mazda R-X8 convertible sports car, limited edition.”

LOL! I wonder whether that really works…What if days later the kid asked, “Where is the car, daddy?” Probably not a long-term kinda solution, I guess.  Or probably we can get the child a toy Mazda R-X8 and say, “There you go, my dear.” :)

[01:33 am]

See also this post.

I went to KLPac to catch the Footstool Players on their play, ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love’ again. I still like the first one though when I watched it at PJGH, however this time I get to see their facial expressions better by sitting at front view, compared to the side previously.

I still like ‘Lost in Transmission’ best, also Billy’. Colin is so cute.. Honestly, I was pretty tired the other time when I watch them at PJGH, so I wasn’t really concentrating during their Act 2 scenes.

KLPac is a really nice place, but didn’t have time to look around more as we were rushing off to have dinner with Ann Choo, one of the actors. Able to spoke to Colin for a while…he looks nice in his nice and clean shaved bald head. I wanted to take pictures with him and the casts, but I think we were too ‘pai seh’ to voice it out. LOL…imagine we had two chances. They even ate dim sum with us at the same stall, but differ table though :)

More pictures of the day..

One abandoned, old building on our way to KLPac.


The audiences

Blurry us

Zebra rocking chair (reminds me of my childhood days)

Some cute drawings

More drawings…

The one I like best

The cast, crews & the lil’ lounge

Wood furniture shop?

This reminded me of carolling

They have nice park outside

The “special” chair

Me & Ri sitting on the “special” chair :)

The Sentul Park

The girls: May, Weiqi, Me & Riana

Ta daa….

Supposingly to take the pic of the fishes in the lake, but turned out to be an artistic one I supposed *smiles*

The two roomies…

Adios!

[02:09 pm]

Venue: Petaling Jaya Gospel Hall

Time: 8.30pm

The stage…

The audience

Me & Steven

Me

And me… :)

With Jasmine…

With Sherine…

Act 1: Scene 1

Be Real

Act 1: Scene 2

Whatever

Act 1: Scene 4

I Love You More

Act 2: Scene 1

Impasse

AND… The Greatest of These

is LOVE….

The series of sketches…

Catch them at KLPac if you haven’t seen the play, or visit their website at www.footstoolplayers.com

It is a terrific play! I love it. I think their acting skills were good. You know, with the expressions, the dialogues etc. There are a few scenes which I think I liked most – Lost in Transmission, Whatever, A Sorry Excuse & The Greatest of These.

I think Lost in Transmission captured me the most. I think it is so real as in guy doesn’t know what a girl is thinking and vice versa. It really takes communication to breakthrough the situation of understanding one another.

Too bad…I was sitting at the side view of the stage, hence the pictures taken and videos are so not in the right view, as in couldn’t really get to see their facial expressions much.

Love is really a mysterious thing. Sometimes it brings hurts and suffering instead of joy. So why do we still love? And what does real love look like?

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no recor of being wronged. it does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6 [NLT]

Love is all these things and more. Do we love people with that kind of love? Not only with family and loved ones, but I think it applies to ALL type of relationships. From here, I’m slowly to learn to forgive even friends who might have hurt me, and learning to love them in return. By God’s grace, we are learning to love one another like how Jesus did.

I’m so tempted to go and watch them again at KLPac.

[05:42 pm]

  It wasn’t that bad after all. :)

I guess I really think too much sometimes.. ok, most of the time..hehe… Oh well, can’t change the nature of me, being a deep thinker sometimes, which leads me to overthink and overworried. :)

Oh, I came across a random blog, ‘How Do You Do It?‘ written by a mom. Pretty cool, the way she writes about her kids and other stuff. She has twins.. I want twins too next time. Will keep that in my prayer list in the future. I’ve always wanted twins (I was thinking about this when I was younger about my future family), because I think its just nice. And probably, I had the thinking of the labor pain, and want to finish it off once and for all by having twins. Haha…funny thought I know. Well, it’s just a thought. :)

p/s: Cranky moods are subsiding slowly as the most two killer midterm papers are over. Just one more midterm to go and a few more assignments.
[05:22 pm]

A child is his parents’ source of joy – and at times, the reason for friction between his daddy and mummy.

When I was little, my parents had a vastly different stance towards discipline issues. Dad was the disciplinarian while Mum was the lenient one. Whenever Dad was about to give my a cane for being mischeif, Mum would be there for protection and comfort. On those occasions, Dad would chide Mum for being soft on me. Mum, who didn’t believe in physical punishments, would snap him back for being too much of a dragon with me.

Does the above scenario sound familiar?

An inconsistency in parenting style, while normal, can be confusing to a child/ He will become unsure as to which parent he should listen to. He might even take advantage of the situation to play off his parents against each other. In addition, when he learns that one parent is less strict than the other, he would be more likely to misbehave when the laid back parent is looking after him alone.

It’s best for parents to put on a united front, so neither of the two is deemed the good cop or bad one. When parents work together as a team, their child will get the message that his parents back each other up in decidion and he will learn that certain behavious will results in either approval or disapproval from both parents. This would prevent him from taking advantage of the more lenient parent.

Parents often feel that each has the better method of parenting style, but keep in mind that there is more than one right way to raise a child, and there are pros and cons to every single of parenting.

Take time to discuss the best way to deal with conflicting parenting views, and work together towards a compromise that both of you are comfortable with. Listen to each other’s opinions, and be open to leaning from each other’s insights.

Whatever parenting disagreements your spouse and you might have, they should be discussed behind closed doors. Avoid accusing, blaming or making nasty comments about each other in front of the child. Children feel hurt when they hear their parents said unpleasant things about each other, and they often feel as if they are being forced to choose between the two parents.

All said, you should accept the fact that there might be some issues that parents might never see eye-to-eye on. Indeed, it’s impossible to be agreeable on every single thing as no two individuals are exactly alike. So pick up your battle – identify and tackle issues which you feel are most important to you, and don’t be nitpicky about less important ones.

Remember that parenting is not about competing with one another to see who can do the best for the children, but what you can do together to raise them in a best way possible.

Adapted from The yellowpost, Issue 67

Read this just now, found it rather interesting. I agreed with the writer of this article. Parenting is not an easy task. Communication and unity between parents are essential to make parenting works. Raising a child is not easy, what is more when you have two or more, or if you are a single parent. I mean I can see the hardship my mum went through after my dad passed away. I was really stubborn and rebellious back then. And my bro is a mischievous one, even till now. Training your kids with good parenting style from the right beginning would really make a difference.

Ok, sounds as if I’m a pro person in this topic. I’m not but just managed to give out some observations I had. Plus, I like reading and knowing lifestyle articles and stuff. So, am rather interested in all these kinda reading materials.

P/S: Was really really bored after all the hardship on assignments and readings the past one week, and getting less sleep. So just spent some time to do some leisure reading, before continuing my remaining last part of PM assignment, which due this Friday. Sigh….

Click here for more parenting tips : http://www.goodparenting.co.in/

What happened in baby names in 2007? The results are in: Emma has finally been knocked off its number one perch for the first time since it landed there in 2004! Sophia has been making steady progress since 2002, cracked the top 10 in 2005, and jumped six slots to be the new number one baby name for 2007.

Addison jumped a whopping 20 spots this year to land in the top 10 — no doubt thanks to flame-haired actress Kate Walsh’s portrayal of Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd on the hot TV series “Grey’s Anatomy” and its spin-off, “Private Practice.”

In boys’ baby names, Aiden still rules, as it has since 2005. But Jayden, Caden, and Jackson have jumped quickly into the top 10 this year and are the new rising stars.

And here they are, in order: The BabyCenter® Top Baby Names of 2007

Top 10 Girl Names

  1. Sophia
  2. Isabella
  3. Emma
  4. Madison
  5. Ava
  6. Addison
  7. Hailey
  8. Emily
  9. Kaitlyn
  10. Olivia

Top 10 Boy Names

  1. Aiden
  2. Ethan
  3. Jacob
  4. Jayden
  5. Caleb
  6. Noah
  7. Jackson
  8. Jack
  9. Logan
  10. Matthew
Hmm…I guess some of these names aren’t really that common in Malaysia. However, I like to name my first baby girl, Danielle. I wonder whether would it sound too guyish? If it is a boy, then I would name him Ryan. If I were to choose from the list above for each, I would take Kaitlyn and Jayden.
Well, I found this on MSN.com, so just wanna post it up here. It is pretty nice to think about names sometimes. *smile*