Never Leave Your Partner Behind

Captain Caleb Holt (Kirk Cameron) is a firefighter in Albany, Georgia and firmly keeps the cardinal rule of all firemen, “Never leave your partner behind”. But Caleb’s home life is an altogether different story; his seven-year marriage to his wife Catherine (Erin Bethea) is on the verge of implosion. Neither one understands the pressures the other faces, and after a heated argument in which Caleb screams in Catherine’s face, she declares she wants out of the marriage, and takes off her wedding ring.

While Caleb claims to his friends and co-workers that Catherine is over-sensitive and disrespectful, Catherine simultaneously claims to her peers that Caleb is insensitive to her needs and doesn’t listen to her. Further catalyzing Catherine’s motivation for divorce is Caleb’s addiction to Internet pornography and a large sum of money he has saved up for a fishing boat he intends to buy, ignoring the fact that Catherine’s disabled mother is in need of hospital equipment that she cannot afford, and which insurance refuses to cover. Caleb tells his father, John, about the impending divorce, and John challenges Caleb to commit to a 40-day test called, “The Love Dare.” Caleb reluctantly agrees to do the test, but more for the sake of his father than his marriage. Catherine initially sees through Caleb’s half-hearted attempts to win back her heart, which deepens Caleb’s frustration. But with his father’s encouragement, Caleb continues with The Love Dare, and eventually makes a life-changing commitment to God, unbeknownst to Catherine.

Meanwhile, Catherine begins flirting with Dr. Gavin Keller (Perry Revell) at the hospital where she works. She begins to open up to him about some of her problems, chiefly her mother’s need for the hospital equipment which she can’t afford, but as she’s no longer wearing her wedding ring, Keller doesn’t know Catherine is married, at least not until Caleb is brought to the hospital later. Catherine comes up to Caleb in the emergency room as Keller is treating him, and a nurse says that Caleb is Catherine’s husband. Through the guidance of The Love Dare, and as a result of his commitment to Christ, Caleb begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife. He begins pulling more of his own weight at home, doing household chores and running errands, and even leaving real roses for Catherine. Soon Caleb even finds the motivation to destroy his computer and everything on it, smashing it to pieces with a baseball bat. However, Catherine is still intent on filing for divorce, much to Caleb’s anguish.

When Catherine goes to the home care store to talk with a clerk about the unpaid equipment her mother needs, the clerk tells her that all the equipment has been paid for in full and is being installed at her mother’s house. Believing it was Dr. Keller that paid the $24,300 price, Catherine goes to Keller at the hospital to thank him and sets up a lunch date with him. Meanwhile, Caleb finds out about Dr. Keller through a card for Catherine that she left at home, so he goes to the hospital and warns Dr. Keller that, even with his mistakes, he will not step aside and let Keller have Catherine without a fight. The doctor gets the message and quickly cools the relationship with Catherine, and the viewer learns that Dr. Keller is married and hides his ring in a desk drawer.

When Caleb finds Catherine at home sick in bed, he decides to take care of her, with food and medicine. Bewildered at his new bedside manner, Catherine asks Caleb what’s happening to him. Caleb starts to tell Catherine about The Love Dare, and she pulls Caleb’s book out from underneath the blanket next to her. Caleb kneels before Catherine and tearfully apologizes for his selfish behavior and asks her forgiveness. While Catherine admits she sees some change in Caleb, she still cannot bring herself to trust him and believe he has changed. Caleb understands and gives her as much time as she needs to think things over.

Days later, Catherine returns to the home care store to purchase linens for her mother’s new hospital bed, mentioning to the clerk that linens were the only thing Dr. Keller didn’t pay for. But when the clerk reveals to Catherine that it was Caleb two weeks prior who paid $24,000 (Keller contributed only $300), Catherine bursts into tears and leaves the store. Now fully convinced of Caleb’s genuine change of heart, Catherine runs home crying to put her wedding ring back on her finger. After freshening up, she goes straight to the fire house to tell Caleb that she now forgives him, and the two lovingly embrace.

Caleb’s parents come to visit. While talking to his son, Caleb’s father reveals that, contrary to what Caleb had believed, he did not do The Love Dare on his wife, she did it on him. This causes Caleb to recognize the impact his mother has had in his life, and rushes home to reconcile with her. Caleb and Catherine renew their vows in an outdoor ceremony, this time as a covenant with God.

I am TOTALLLLY like this movie. I would give a rating of 9.5/10. It made me cried, using the full of 3 sheets of tissue. It may not sound alot, but it is alot to me. It is wonderfully written and played. I even read that there were volunteers by a local church to help acting in this movie because there was a budget constraint of $500,000 only. And check this additional info I got -

Noble, Cameron’s real-life wife, appears in a scene near the end when Cameron’s character kisses his wife. Filmed in shadow with Noble disguised to look like Bethea, this was done because of Cameron’s specific belief that a man should not kiss any woman other than his wife.

Source: Wikipedia

Do watch it! It is a high recommended movie.

 

Midlife Marriage: Rejoicing in the Spouse of Your Youth

Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. ~ Malachi 2: 15

We both stood with our teens at the “To Go” order desk waiting for our dinners so we could jump back into the fast lane of family life. Two strangers, two moms, engaged in conversation to bide the time. As with most conversations among midlife women, the topic soon turned to stress. It didn’t take long before this very together-looking leader with whom I chatted asked me what I did for a living. When I shared that my husband Bill and I have a relationship ministry, she said, “Well maybe you can help me with mine.”  Then my new friend did what many women in midlife do — she spilled her story of all the stressors, all the responsibilities, and all the built up frustrations that accompany many midlife marriages. She was ready to throw in the towel.

Our culture seems to place a high value on the euphoria of young love and early romance, rarely taking into account the challenges that come as we advance through the decades together. So what’s a midlife married couple to do?

Get Real: Midlife marriages experience more stress because of the season of life we are in. When I shared this news with my new friend, she seemed to gain hope.

Think about it: Midlife moms are either older moms with little kids (exhausting), raising teens (more exhausting) or paying for graduations, cars, college, or  weddings (expensively exhausting!)

This doesn’t even take into account the rising number of grandparents raising their grandchildren (expensive and exhausting a second time around!) Or, how about the pressures resulting from success: people want your wisdom, your connections, your volunteer time, your expertise in business or life. And for some, add in pressures like: corporate downsizing, retirement transitions, and health challenges like menopause or midlife crisis issues. In addition, many parents in midlife marriages must deal with prodigal young adults sowing their wild oats.

It’s not uncommon for the midlife marriage to seem dull and lifeless. But what you’re really experiencing is extreme pressure and the need for a vacation! If the midlife couple will commit to hang on, get those kids out of the house and go on a second honeymoon, things might look a whole lot better!

Get educated: Midlife comes with a prepackaged set of obstacles to overcome — the biggest issue being your age. High blood pressure, rising cholesterol levels, weight gain and diabetes, menopause and the growing need for medications like Premarin, Prozac, Levitra, and Viagra are just a few of the hundreds of physical issues that midlifers could face. But If you get educated and get equipped, what looked like a negative can turn into a positive.

When Bill and I hit 45, his blood pressure was up and my cholesterol was rising so we took this opportunity to add more personal time into our schedules in the form of “workout dates.” We lost a little weight and gained some much needed romantic time. For our anniversary last year, we bought each other bikes and now we try to ride to romantic spots.

After my brother had a heart attack, he and my sister-in-law began walking 2-4 miles every morning. During this time they pray for each other, their family, and chat about the coming day. It has become one of their most cherished times of the day.

By getting educated, you can create a personalized plan for life and love that will be a win-win for both of you – and that will benefit your entire family.

Get a new perspective: In our book, Every Marriage is a Fixer Upper, we interviewed couples who have been happily marred over 20 years. What did we find differentiates these couples from others? These couples make a deliberate choice: Instead of looking at all the things that are wrong and frustrating about their mates and life after 40, they instead opt to look at all the things they love and would miss if their mates were no longer around.

Last week, three of us over-40 women — all married at least 25 years — were sitting together and talking about midlife and marriage. We each shared how much we’d miss our mate because he had become our best friend in life. I recalled our 25^th anniversary when Bill and I had a vow renewal ceremony. Our vows sounded very different from the first go-around because we now know what it really takes to keep love alive for a lifetime. “Love is a choice,” I commented.

After two-and-a-half decades together, Bill sees all my flaws and knows them well – yet he chooses to focus on my strengths instead. For example, Bill calls my impulsivity, “spontaneity.”  And on my end, I know Bill pretty much always runs late because he is such a “people person,” but I choose to overlook his lateness and focus on the fact that he is great at relationships. (And I ask him to come home 10 minutes earlier than I really need him!)

As I shared these simple principles, my new friend gained hope. With her teen standing beside her, she said, “We did make a commitment at the altar. I know we meant it, but I think it is time for ‘us’ to go on the front burner of life’s priorities for awhile. I want to get back to seeing him as my best friend and my lover. Maybe life will seem fun again then.”  I smiled and winked at her knowingly. I think she will rediscover her best friend and a second honeymoon might just be around the corner.

By Pam and Bill Farrel

Found this article interesting. Might be useful for all of us in near future. And it is just me, like to read stuff about parenting, children, relationships or anything that is related. :)